Slurping, sucking, puckering, schlopping, more slurping. This is what I had to put up with on the tube today. This couple were one step away from needing to get a room!

From the looks of disgust on my fellow commuters’ faces, I could see they weren’t enjoying the show either. They were grossed out by the display as much as I was. At least I was conscious of the fact that I was trying to avoid getting close to them, but the noise they were emitting, could be heard all the way down the noisy carriage. Everyone else was openly staring with disgust.

Now I think the Swazis and Indians might be onto something. The Indians don’t appreciate any public shows of affection, and the Swazis only don’t allow physical contact in front pictures/paintings of the King. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a bit of hand-holding, gazing into another’s eyes, quick peck on the lips or on the cheek, but when you can visibly see (and hear) the tongue action, it creeps me out something terrible.

As I was making such a concerted effort of not looking anywhere near the noisy couple’s direction, I focussed on the remaining tubers. I didn’t know whether looking at the lady who was digging up her nose with such force, was much improvement. She attempted to get at whatever was troubling her, with every digit available. I thought she was going to try using her elbow as she had run out of fingers!

Lastly, at least I found someone worth looking at. She was reading her book and was close to the end. You could see it had a ‘all-works-out-in-the-end-and-might-live-happily-ever-after’ ending, because she was smiling. And the smile on her face grew bigger and bigger, the closer to the end she got.

And that is my happy ending, because after a nightmare day, she in turn made me smile for the first time!